JCP & Ellen Degeneres (i prefer love)

Ok, Imma be honest.  I might be writing more this week because of a little pms situation. I’m hormonal.

Sue me.

Like many of my readers, I am a conservative Christian too.  The key word in that statement being, “Christian”.  I seem to default into the conservative category… but I think I also offer a lot of grace.  I see black, white and gray.  And I worry about people who do not.

Sometimes I read about things Christians say and do and I throw my head back, reach for the Heavens with clenched fists and say “O.M.G.”… seriously people.  What is going on?

Todays’ news is about a Conservative Christian group asking that JC Penny fire Ellen Degeneres as their spokesperson because she is gay.  I believe they claim that this upsets the “majority” of their shoppers who will now choose to shop elsewhere.

Excuse me?

What the ?

Before I go into the reasons why I find this scheme to be idiotic, let me just state my bottom line.

I wish said Christians would stop fighting so much for what they are against and instead start focusing their efforts on what Christ is for.

Is our world going to hell in a handbasket?  Yep, probably.  But not because ED is spokesing for JCP.  (fyi: spokesing = word i just made up and i like it a lot).  ”Representing” would have been a better, grammatically correct choice.  But I don’t always make good choices.  A’hem.

Seriously, if you stop shopping at JCP then you will have to start shopping at Sears or Macy’s or Target or (somewhere?) right?  Are you going to interview every employee first to determine if their beliefs and lifestyle match your own?  Because you will be disappointed in the first 30 minutes.

The last time I checked, most shopping malls and grocery stores do not have a cross on the top front and center of their buildings.  Maybe I should weave my own fabric, raise my own cattle and weld my own jewelry, write my own music, harvest my own grains, and mine my own stonewear.  Because I would sure hate to spend a moment anywhere near anyone who isn’t exactly.like.me.  That is the message you are sending.

There is a ginormous gay population.  If you alienate gay people from your life, you’ll have to stop eating, wearing clothes, pumping gasoline, getting your hair cut… oh, and breathing.  I’m pretty sure that is written in the book of Betty chapter 6; verse 66.

But what if you took all of that energy condemning gays to hell and instead focused that same energy on doing Kingdom work?  Kingdom work involves going and telling good news.  It involves walking in love.  Loving others as yourself.  It involves encouraging in love (as opposed to discouraging others in spewed hatred).

I read scriptures and I believe in all of it.  All of it.  But nowhere did Jesus in the great commission call us to go out and be finger pointers.  If so, someone would have to knock on your door and point one right at you.  I believe in abstaining from things that may cause me to fall away or slip back into bad behaviors of all of my yesterdays.  I believe in speaking truth in love.  I also believe that Ellen Degeneres is hilarious and generous and beautiful.  If you can’t grace the doorway of a JCP because of Ellen then just don’t.  But I beg you not to make the whole barrell of Christians to look and smell and taste rotten.  You need to own that all by yourself.

I prefer love.

**p.s. i heard this story on the radio…although I did not hear the name of the conservative Christian group.  i know that one million moms is also complaining…  but i don’t think they are specifically a Christian group… i do not know.  

Lasting Impression

It was great the first time.  The hubs, me and kiddos in tow showed up and they showed us to their private guest suite. We enjoyed a few great days there with their family.  They took us out to dinner; provided activities for the kids, etc.  It was GREAT.  It was memorable for many good reasons.

But the second time…  well, it changed me.  I had occasion to visit their town again; solo this time.  I put them on alert far in advance to see if crashing at their house would be a possibility.  They more than agreed; they insisted.  Only time would tell whether I would actually show up.  I checked in again a two months prior and they were still fully on board.

What happened next would alter me.

See, they have three kids.  Young ones.  Young ones who need to fall asleep at a decent hour, full-swing into the school year and other outside activities.  Their lives are not boring, or quiet, or easy to schedule around.  And yet somehow, for the two days I was there with a busy agenda, these friends managed to JOYFULLY cater to my every need.  On top of that, they went above and beyond to create precious memorable experiences that they knew would matter to me.  They picked me up in the middle of the night and drove me the places I needed to be.  They they picked me up from those places and delivered me to other places that they thought I might appreciate seeing or experiencing. They fed me.  They served me cake and ice cream in the middle of the night, too.  (That’s love, people!)  They dragged their children around for a lot of this stuff too…. kids that didn’t whine or complain AT.ALL.  The drop off’s and pick up’s were multiple.  I would have whined.

Did I mention chocolates on my pillow case?

What stunned me so much was not so much that they drove a gazillion miles on my behalf (although that was surely beautiful and notable)… but that everything they did for me was done out of a deep place of joy to serve me.  The spirit was nothing short of magnificent love.  They honored me so much.  They humbly served me with a significant level of nothingness.  Nothingness that means…. “while you are here, you matter more to us than we matter to ourselves.”

I’m not joking.  Game changer.

On the way to the airport I told my friend I was so stunned by her love and service toward me that weekend…. on behalf of her whole family.  I told her that to witness it all will forever make me a better friend.  She has a precious husband and 3 beautiful sons.  They were all in cahoots… genuinely.  It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve experienced.  And I saw something in me that I don’t like very much.

I can be burdened.

I can be inconvenienced.

I can be too tired to show up.

I can be slow to follow-through.

Short of an emergency or dire need (emotional or physical) …. I’m not sure I have ever just laid everything down to be a servant to a friend.  But now I will… because my precious friend made a lasting impression.

Not Gonna Lie

Hi reader friends.  I love y’all.  Thanks for sticking with me during the down time as I am not writing here very frequently…. which is only temporary.  I appreciate the emails.

Just thought I’d pop in to update some of the more significant things going on in my day-to-day life.

I am purging stuff like crazy.  We have room in our master closet for 3 more people to move in.  That is just crazy.  Oh, and the attic…  half gone and the other half totally organized.  I rock.  Not gonna lie.

Coincidentally I am reading a book called “7″ by Jen Hatmaker.  I am not participating in 7 the way she describes it, but I’m in the arena.  Go buy that book.  Now.  It rocks.  Not gonna lie.

I sold something valuable and flashy recently in exchange for some peace of mind.  I feel better.  Now something more meaningful can occupy pieces of my mind.  But it was hard.  Not gonna lie.

I bought the coolest, most awesome totally high dollar purse/bag at Goodwill for $5.99.  There is no evidence that it had EVER been used.  I’m certain it cost more than $200 on the retail shelf.  And I have no idea how this fits into the post… but I’ve been dying to gloat over my amazing find.  Gloat?  Whoops.

I bought organic chicken this week from Whole Foods.  Anyone out there in a position to buy shoes for my children?  Well, maybe without antibiotics and added hormones in the chickens, maybe my children’s feet will begin to shrink.  It could happen.  This happened to me in Africa in fact.  (Totally organic diet = weight shrinkage).  And this horrifies me to death about the “sensible” food we’ve been eating.  Not gonna lie.

Totally irrelevant garbage tidbit:  Last night I flipped back and forth between The Bachelor and The Voice.  One is a constant train wreck which I still invest in strictly for the psychology experiment (true) and the other raises happy hairs all over my precious* head.  (* i refuse to believe that God sees me and you any other way).

My fam is doing very well….  not leaving them out of this post for any other reason than I have carved out a few moments this morning to be totally selfish.  Not gonna lie.

Okay… so much of this post offered no significance at all.  My bad.

Love y’all,

melissa

 

My Husband Hates Me

Ok, he probably doesn’t.  But I am an actions/message interpreter because…well, I’m a woman.  And according to his latest actions, he hates me.

See, it all started a gazillion years ago when we got married.  Ok, 10 years 3 months and 20 days ago (ish).

When he washes the dishes…..

 ***side note*** …. I realize that any woman who can truthfully type the words about her husband “when he washes the dishes…” that in and of itself is a gift and a blessing and she should just probably shut up.  But I’m not going to…. shut up.

…. he started this odd habit of putting the skillets into the oven.  Why?  Well, I’m not sure why.  It has always puzzled me and quite honestly over time it became a massive source of frustration for me.  I would not have any idea that a pan was in the oven and would turn it on to pre-heat for cooking.  I would then open the oven to insert some food and find that I would have to FIRST remove a VERY HOT PAN or worse, MULTIPLE HOT PANS.  I would have to find a place to sit the VERY HOT PANS and allow THEM to cool off.  Usually that required moving things around, yada yada yada…blah blah blah.  OR, other times I would be searching for a pan to use and not able to locate it because my mind does not process that it might be “hiding” in the oven.

I complained gently at first with subtle requests such as “Please don’t do this because….blah blah blah”.

It continued.

For months.

Until I exploded.

He confessed that he continued to do it because he didn’t think it was a big deal.

Why?

I still don’t know.

But it stopped.

For years.

This morning I made breakfast for the Tater Tot and myself and guess what, I couldn’t find the pan I wanted to use.

HE.IS.AT.IT.AGAIN.

My conclusion.

He hates me.

There is not other logical explanation.

I’d love to know your interpretation.  Go for it.

My Husband Hates Me

Ok, he probably doesn’t.  But I am an actions/message interpreter because…well, I’m a woman.  And according to his latest actions, he hates me.

See, it all started a gazillion years ago when we got married.  Ok, 10 years 3 months and 20 days ago (ish).

When he washes the dishes…..

hard day

Today in Nashville has been issued a snow day due to inclement weather.  Funny thing is, there is no snow on the ground at all in my area, but I do recognize that the county is large and there may be tricky road conditions in other areas.  So, Shawnie has stayed home from school today… but for Asher and I, it has been a regular homeschool day.  And it has been rough.  No joke.  Today has been straight up yuck.  Thankfully, we rarely have these kinds of days.

Because of the stresses and difficulties of today, I have asked myself silently “Why again, did I sign up for this?”.  And sometimes just in His way, God convicts me in such a direct way that I question why I question things at all.  Afterall, I didn’t actually sign up for this. Becoming a homeschooling family was never on my list of dreams or aspirations.  Never.  Not for one second.  Giving up my “me” time was extremely painful.  Taking the education of my child into my own hands left me feeling horrified, doubtful and reeling head-first into a spiral of insecurities.  See…. this isn’t what I dreamed.  But rather, it was what I was “told”; the direction I was “led”.  How?  Simple.  As a Christian, an authentic follower of Christ, I believe to the core of my soul that Christ has shared His spirit with me and that a part of Him dwells inside of me.  He guides me.  Unfortunately, He often guides me to places I don’t want to go (like homeschool) or places I’m horrified to go (like Africa all by myself) or places I do not feel equipped to go (like speaking in front of a room full of Christian women) or places that I feel I don’t qualify for (like writing and photography for a living).

This is the funny thing about how He speaks to me.  I can almost always (if not always) know that it is Him speaking to me when I am being prompted to do something that makes me utterly uncomfortable.  He prompts me to reach out to people I find difficult to like.  He convicts me to prepare meals for people in need when I don’t even have enough grocery money for my own kids.  His Spirit constantly shows me that His will is going a different direction from my own and so to plant my feet in it I’m going to have to go new places.  This sometimes requires stepping way outside of the boundaries that I am used to.  God has blessed me with obedience more than once.  He has strengthened me to go where he is sending me and the rewards from those experiences have been indescribable. So you see, I have experienced some of the pay-off; the blessing and reward of joy. And I want more of that… so I WANT to obey Him.  I want to listen and I want to follow.  I want not just to be in His will but fully WITH it.  So – no, I don’t obey everything because I sometimes doubt that there will be fruit produced in the end.  Sometimes I give up and ask God to just find someone else.  I hate that I do that, but sometimes I do.  But with homeschooling, I have listened and obeyed.  And I’m humbled and grateful to be able to confessing that it has been incredible and beautiful and blessed, m.o.s.t. days.

Today He convicted me.  He answered me when my head tossed around thoughts of sending Asher back to public school.  He allowed incredible images to fill up my thoughts.  He showed me that Asher is learning at his own pace rather than having to keep up with or fall behind a classroom of others.  He showed me that Asher’s strengths have been and will continued to be nurtured in ways that a teacher over 20+ children couldn’t give him the focus.  He reminded me that we talk about Him a lot, whereas in public school that isn’t allowed.  He uses other people and situations to remind me that the current system used to educate children in mass groups according to age is not that way that it used to be and may not be the most beneficial.  He reminds me that children in public school are in a building for 7-8 hours per day and still have homework to do when they come home; whereas with homeschool we can concentrate on one subject at a time until we are finished…and it doesn’t have to last into the night if we don’t want it to.  I’m reminded that we don’t move on until a concept is mastered, meaning my child is never left behind. I’m also reminded that since we are almost finished with 1st grade math that we can slow down, or jump ahead.  I’m reminded that we have tons of friends who homeschool and that the socialization of our kids is happening automatically in mid-afternoon neighborhood play.  I’m reminded that the incredibly special times we spend together cannot be assigned a value because they are priceless.

So it’s been a rough day.  But sometimes the roughest days are what bring about the sweetest reminders of what good does exist.  The good days are so easy to take for granted.  On a day like today, I need the reminder of what is good.  So in this moment I am very thankful for our rough day of homeschool.  Every step of today has felt like a misstep, until right now.

A Little Organization

This thing is already greatly improving our homeschooling schedule!

After 5 -6 months of working with everything in stacks, struggling to find this or that…I finally invested a whopping $25 at Staples to simplify…and I’m so glad I did.  This week we can actually find things, return things and organize everything in one location.  Praise Jesus.  Life just got easier in more ways than 1.  Yahoo.

Asher is completing his 5th phonics workbook today.  We have been doing a series called “Explode the Code”.  Since this is our first year of home school, I have nothing to compare this phonics program with, but I do recall in making this selection that I chose it based on what I looked through, it impressed me. I had never heard of it before and I do not know anyone else who is using it.  We are going to explore other phonics options and suggestions are welcomed.  We still might come right back to Explode the Code, however.  All I know for sure is that Asher is reading so well.  I am SO pleased with this.  His spelling continues to suffer…it doesn’t seem to match his reading skills and this is the primary reason for looking into changing our phonics program.

And speaking of toys…

(…what?  were we not talking about toys?)

I thought I’d show you Shawn’s very favorite toy in the whole house.  Guess how many times per day I have to un-tangle it?